“The 10 things you’ll do once you start yoga (that have nothing to do with yoga)” first appeared on  Recovering Yogi by Lee Anne Finfinger sometime in the fall of 2011 and read it again this morning when it appeared on  Elephant Journal.

photo by Anton Belovodchenko

It’s cute, it’s funny, and pretty accurate!  Here’s what I now relate to since becoming a yogini…

1.  At least once, you will force yourself to try to be vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, gluten-free (insert any over-zealous diet here)/ drink Kombucha/ buy bottled water before class and pour it into your sustainable water bottle before the teacher/students/Whole Foods cashier next to you sees.  (If you’re craving meat, just eat it!  On your deathbed, will you really be glad that you didn’t have that steak on your 30^thBirthday?)

YOGA PEACH: Yep!  I took on the challenge October 1, 2011  here on Yoga Peach Goes Vegetarian! As far as Kombucha is concerned, I’m still experimenting from time to time but haven’t grown to love or fully understand Kambucha. I can say, however, that every time I hear the word Kambucha I think of this hillarious video $hit Yogis Say (highly suggest for a good laugh!)

2.  Your iPod will now include a heavy serving of Kirtan music that you will listen to on your very long commute to your yoga studio (It’s cool; if you want to listen to Kirtan occasionally, go for it!  When you start listening to it while driving and falling asleep — time to go back to your old playlists. Do NOT switch over to NPR!)

YOGA PEACH: Like light pouring through my body and the sounds of peace filling the room through my ears, the sounds of Kirtan is something most yogis strangely relate to, myself included. Krishna Das, Deva Premal, Bhagavan Das, Jau Uttal, and the list goes on.

3.  You will pretend not to notice that your ass now fits in a size 6 instead of an 8, but you’re secretly thrilled.  (When you get down to a 4 though, watch it.  People will talk.)

YOGA PEACH: NO COMMENT!  WELL, LET’S JUST SAY AGREED!

(if I was able to enlarge the font on the word AGREED I would!)

4.  You will go back to your natural hair color/ remove your hair extensions/ cut your hair short in an attempt to stop paying so much attention to your vanity.  (Try not to cut it too short — the growing out process is a bitch and then you’ll just need more hair extensions. I did.)

YOGA PEACH: I never liked my hair anything but natural dark brunette, even before becoming a yogini.  I can count the number of times I’ve died my hair on my two hands and admit to getting extensions once. (give me a break, I was 23 years old and lived in Vegas!)

5.  You’ll attempt to read the Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita, or the Upanishads while your stack of fashion magazines calls to you from the next room.  (Really, why can’t I like Rachel Zoe and yoga?  Now that I’m thin enough to actually wear her clothes, why should I pretend I don’t want to?) (See #3.)

YOGA PEACH: Shocker here… I have NOT read Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita but have read a number of yoga books, blogs, and training manuals.

6.  You will take a retreat. Hello, Kripalu!  (It’s ok — those other people probably are weirdos.  So are you.  Eat your breakfast and shut up.  No really, shut the fuck up – it’s a silent breakfast.)

YOGA PEACH: Over the past few months I’ve seriously considered taking a trip to India to attend a yoga retreat or visit an ashram.  It would also be my dream if I were in India to volunteer.  To volunteer and use my experience as a birth doula to assist in shaping and supporting the birth experiences of women with different cultural backgrounds would be a very powerful and meaningful experience.

7.  You’ll start taking photos of yourself in yoga poses. Often.  And you’ll think that other people care.  It’s like the modern-day version of the vacation slideshow.  No one gives a shit, but they’ll pretend like they do so that you do the same when they whip out their own photos.

YOGA PEACH: No comment, but I love it!  See HERE

Me in the middle of Broad Street “Avenue of the Arts”

8.  You will at some point wear mala beads, which will break all over the floor of your 6:15am class.  (Basically, it’ll end about as well as when I wore my Grandmother’s rosary beads to dinner at age 6. Silver Lining: The company was kind enough to re-string them for free, and now I just wear them like a really cool wrap bracelet.  It’s very hippie chic. Thank you September Vogue.) (See #5)

YOGA PEACH: I am totally not into prayer beads but never say never.   I’ll be happy to bet it happens! (see #6 above)

9.  You will become a cheap date.  Remember, you just dropped two sizes and you continue to spend at least an hour a day sweating and twisting and breathing.  You’ll be buzzed from one drink!

YOGA PEACH: Couldn’t have said it better, I have nothing to add except “one and I’m done!”

10.  You’ll get over yourself.  If you teach yoga, you’ll hope that people show up because they like taking class from who you really are.  If you practice yoga, you’ll keep showing up and you’ll realize that the other shit doesn’t matter.

YOGA PEACH: Do what you love, love what you do: the other $h*t doesn’t matter!

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