Two months tonight since you said good-bye, Kara. Not a single day has passed where I have not found myself in moments of stillness thinking of you and thanking you for the roll you still play in my life. I am angry, confused, and sad when I try to understand why you were taken so soon. I miss you and can sometimes hear the sound of your voice in my head. I am often able to laugh when I think of you too. The day we drove to say goodbye to you, can you believe you were actually able to make me laugh in the middle of all of the tears? The girls shared the “angry yoga teacher” story you told them about me. I wish I knew this story when you were still here and I want to tell you that it makes me crack up and smile whenever I think about it.
It occurred to me during my Winter Solstice practice that the 24th was approaching. As I lay in Savasana with the lights turned down I felt my tears on my cheeks. I thought about what you taught me when you were here and what you’ve taught me since you left. As I drove to yoga this morning my heart ached. While I flowed through practice I remembered how warm it felt to practice next to you. Sometimes I don’t really believe that we will never do this together again.
You entered the world on the 24th and you left on the 24th. I know I will associate the 24th of each month with you for many months ahead. Perhaps I always will. I am thinking of you throughout the day and thinking of your family. I love you, Kara. Merry Christmas.